My boyfriend and I have been dating for six years and living together for a year and a half. We love each other dearly, and there is no question of our plans for a future together. However, an engagement isn’t happening anytime soon.

He’s Canadian and I’m Southern. Although I may be progressive and liberal on other topics, I feel strongly about the institution of marriage, making a public commitment to each other and celebrating our love with the people that matter most in our lives.

He does not value marriage in the same way, likely because of our cultural differences and because his parents divorced, seemingly out of nowhere, four years ago when he got home from college graduation.

These are his excuses: His friends aren’t getting married yet (just mine). He’d like to be more financially secure (his finances are fine; he’s just not making a lot of money yet). And, he’d like to be settled in the place where we plan to live (right now we’re living in the South, which is probably not where we’ll stay).

I can understand this “not now” reasoning to some degree, but what bothers me is he will not even talk about a rough timeline. He says, “I don’t want to talk about it because I can’t imagine getting married right now. But just because I can’t imagine it now, it doesn’t mean I won’t want it at some point in the future.”

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Sliptease

I am a divorced woman, 38, involved with a man, 26. It started quite innocently when my slip was showing in the office, and he said, “The flag is at half-mast again.”

After a couple of days, I asked what he meant. He became all embarrassed and said it means your slip is showing below your dress. So after this I would ask, before leaving the office at lunchtime or in the evening, if my slip was showing. I loved to watch him get embarrassed as he told me it was.

Then I would feel for the elastic waistband through my dress, attempt to pull it up and ask him if it was okay. I could tell he was excited. It made me feel good to attract the attention of a much younger man and it boosted my ego.

One evening he asked if I would go out with him for a meal. I accepted and teased him by asking about my slip when I got out of the car and when we left the restaurant. Each time I made the necessary adjustments.

From this point it developed into a relationship which I feel quite guilty about. Half of me says go buy some shorter slips and stop teasing him. The other half says keep teasing him and enjoy the moment.

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Spoiled By Lies

I am 22 and have been dating my boyfriend two years. Things are going well. We are both very much in love and trust each other very much.

Sometimes I chat with people over Facebook because I’m bulimic and it helps me curb my drastic behavior. I’ve been chatting with one guy in particular who sometimes makes sexual innuendos. But sometimes he is a good person to talk to in a respectable way in order to get me on a better track.

I answer his sexual talk with general statements. For example, in one conversation he offered to be there for me for breakup sex if my boyfriend and I parted. I answered I would need it, implying to myself I would be that upset. I know this doesn’t make what I said okay, but I figured it was worth it if our conversation sometimes made my illness better.

My boyfriend saw part of one such chat, got upset and said he doesn’t know if he can trust me. Actually, I have trouble even imagining sex with anyone other than him, because I’ve never met anyone I could be so happy with.

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A few years ago I dated a man for several months. He dumped me for someone else without warning and without telling me he was seeing others. Nonetheless, we remained friends, or so I thought. He even introduced me to my husband, who is his first cousin.

Over the course of the last few years it became obvious this ex was using, gaslighting and manipulating me while we dated. There were red flags I didn’t recognize. It took a long time to piece things together, most of it only clicking with me after I was married.

When I saw him, firsthand, treat his partner far worse than I’ve ever seen anyone treat their significant other, I realized he was still abusing me, albeit subtly. I believe he is, at best, a narcissist and quite possibly a sociopath.

We have not made it common knowledge there is a rift in the family. My husband, although he is well aware of his cousin’s infidelities and disrespect toward me and his new fiancée, is finding it awkward navigating this.

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I need an outside opinion. I have been with my fiancé 10 years. He cheated with his high school sweetheart almost three years ago, before we became engaged. It was one of the most painful times in my life.

The relationship fell apart and I found my own place, not sure I wanted to continue. I have no doubt that he continued to see her as she worked out her own marital issues. In time we started dating again, and a year and a half ago we became engaged.

We now own a home and are planning a wedding. I put off the date until next year as I want the perfect wedding—it will be my first. Four days ago my fiancé left for a mission to Haiti, and with his absence I learned I missed him and had truly forgiven him for the affair.

Later that evening I updated his Facebook FarmVille game, a pastime he and his daughter love to share daily. As I was going through all the gifts from his online friends so he would not lose points, I came across a message from who else but his high school sweetheart.

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