Blindside

My ex-husband left me a week before Thanksgiving. We had built a brand-new home, moved our things in, and a month later he left me and our two young sons. The day before we had measured our backyard for a patio, made love, and ate dinner together. I fell asleep with him telling me how much he loved me.

The next day he never came home. He filed for divorce and four months later it was done. He enthusiastically gave me full physical and legal custody of our children. Shock does not begin to cover what I felt. We had things planned like a housewarming and relatives coming for the holidays.

He told me he plotted this out. He needed his freedom because “life is too short” and he wants to be a golf pro and can’t do that with a family. He says his final gift to me was a brand-new house, though I am the only one paying the mortgage and bills.

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No Dogs Allowed

My closest friend is a dog lover with two big dogs. Although I don’t like to do it, I have doggy-sat during a couple of her week-long vacations.

I am an animal lover but like my house clean and odor free. The last time I doggy-sat I covered my floors with blankets and towels. Still the dogs are not well-trained and had three accidents in one week. I had to get my carpets cleaned.

I did not share this information with my friend. Her friendship is important to me and she considers her dogs her family. So I said sweet things about the dogs when she returned and will never say a bad word about them even though my home was left a mess.

I planned to hire a pet sitter for my recent vacation when my friend sweetly volunteered to feed my hamster. She drove over twice during the week to feed the hamster and clean its cage. I expressed my appreciation and gave her a thank you gift.

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Truth Denied

I’m a senior in high school and have been dating this guy almost a year. We were a very mature couple. He was just the sweetest boyfriend, and we couldn’t be happier. He was also a very physical person, which I like, but we never actually crossed over the line.

Things were going excellent until Christmas break, though I started to notice he became more stubborn and unaccepting of my faults. The break started perfectly: we only saw each other once, but we texted each other, spoke on the phone, and had several intimate conversations online.

The one night I did see him, we went on a nice romantic dinner and afterward made out in his car. Everything after that went smoothly until my family went for vacation. I overlooked a text message from him and did not see it until the next day. I felt stupid, so I texted him trying to explain.

I got a reply that confused me. I thought he was making fun of me, so I replied back on a sarcastic note. I had not meant to be serious, but he took it seriously. Why? Because in the meantime he texted another message, but apparently I lost the signal and never got it. I only figured that out later.

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Wrong Example

I think I’m in a tight spot. My older brother is married with two young children. He was caught having a little Internet fling a few years ago. Nothing happened, but I suppose the correct way of putting it is he emotionally cheated.

He felt like crud, and we all thought he had put this behind him. He and his wife have been to counseling, and he did his best to be the best husband ever. Currently they’re tense whenever they are together. You can cut the air with a knife, and it seems they are always ready to snap at each other. It’s not easy to be around them.

My brother and I went to lunch today. Lately he’s been constantly texting on his BlackBerry, and today it lit up with a text. I glanced at what he was typing, thinking it was business. I saw him type, “So u say u like to role play. Tell me…” I stopped and looked at the ground. I got a sick feeling in my stomach.

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Reasonable Doubt

I have been married a dozen years and have four children. During our engagement my husband and I got into an argument and broke up. He tells me I told him I cheated on him with another guy in college and was considering ending our relationship for the other man.

I’m thinking this is what I told him. Asked by a friend if I would consider dating this guy I was attracted to, I answered, “Yes, if I were not dating my fiancé.” I do not remember saying I would have ended our relationship, nor do I remember saying I cheated.

The truth is I didn’t even know the other man. I answered a question my friend posed. I was 21, insecure, and flattered another man thought I was attractive. Regardless, I did not pursue him and until recently only knew his first name.

This has became a huge barrier in our marriage. We fight about it often, and it turns into ugly name-calling. Recently my husband said he felt so strongly about this because I told him myself. I have a hard time believing that, but he says, why would we break up over nothing?

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