If you currently feel that you don’t have enough friends in your life, one reason may be that you have let yourself become too busy to make time for the relationships you already have.

Nurturing and maintaining friendships requires effort and commitment. Many of us let our lives become so busy with work and other commitments that we don’t get around to scheduling time for pleasure and renewal with the friends, relatives and acquaintances we already have.

If you make an effort to call your friends more regularly, see them more often, and to accept more of the invitations you receive from others, can improve your social life in a hurry!

Are there any people you could call right now and be assured of a pleasant welcome? Are these people that you could count on to help you in a crisis? Can you have close talks with them? Do you have fun when you are together? Are you happy to have them in your life?

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Communication between partners often gets confusing, and there is a very good reason for this. Most of the time, the words we use have far less impact than the energy behind the words. Therefore, what you say is often not what the other person hears.

The energy behind a communication is determined by our INTENTION. In much of the communication between partners, there are two different intentions that can motivate any given communication: we are often either intent upon controlling the other person, or intent upon learning about ourselves and our partner. The difference in energy between these two intentions is what frequently creates the confusion in communication.

For example, in one of my phone counseling sessions with Joshua, he complained about the fact that his wife, Joan, often gets upset with him over seemingly minor issues. A recent conflict had occurred over a book she was reading. He had asked her why she was reading that particular book, and she had responded to him with irritation.

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“All we need is love.” Myth or not? Since love does seem to be able to overcome anything and everything, at least on television and at the movies, this seems like a reality. However, truth is, making relationships work takes skill and hard work, regardless of the “love” factor. This is a myth here.

Let’s take a peak at some of the more common concepts above “love” relationships and see if they are myths or based upon reality.

If you are thinking of going into a relationship, or if you find yourself falling in love, and ready to date, keep this in mind: relationship is way, way beyond just love and attraction.

Just like in fairy tales, once true love is found, people live happily ever after. Truth or myth? Granted couples can look into each other’s eyes and have those warm fuzzy feelings. However, truth is, all couples will have their ups and downs. “Happily ever after” seems to imply a perfect, problem-less relationship when in reality, those don’t exist.

If you are in a problem-less relationship (which doesn’t exist anyway), you’ll get bored one day. And one of the couples will want to run away!

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Let’s face it, dating is tough. It’s even tougher when you have to get past the social hurdles of being gay. No matter what, you must always remember that it’s your first priority to be true to yourself and make sure you’re with the person you’re seeing for the right reasons. If you don’t look out for yourself, no one else will.

Some people go through life thinking that they will never find “The One.” So they settle. They settle for abusive relationships, selfish lovers, cheaters, and liars – just because they don’t want to be alone. They overlook the fact that sometimes being alone for a while is the best thing. Being alone gives you the opportunity to contemplate and decide what you’re looking for, where you want to look for it, and ultimately, where you want to be five or ten years down the road.

I’m not saying that you can plan out any relationship and follow each step of it like a schedule. The truth is, you never know what is going to happen. But if you know just a little bit of what you want out of a relationship, it will only be a benefit to you and the person you’re seeing. Nothing is worse than being with someone who doesn’t know what they want.

That being said, here are some things you ought to consider before giving your heart – your most precious possession – away.

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As I had my morning coffee, the “Dear Abby” column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that “Women use sex to get love, and men use love to get sex.” This is a great summation of the “Sex Trap.”

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles interpret good sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther, because for these singles, having sex carries immense meaning and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A. they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be good as well)

B. more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.

So, rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction — such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants — they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are attracted to extremely hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

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