Looking for a way to ignite the sparks in your marriage? Want to feel closer and more loving towards your mate? Practicing praise increases the love energy in any relationship at any age.

Using this valuable tip from our workbook Second Time Around: Reinventing Your Retirement Marriage makes the love light glow!

Motivating with Praise

In your marriage, one partner may exhibit behaviors the other partner doesn’t like. Undesirable situations can occur. Trying to change or clear away what you don’t want in your marriage is never as effective as focusing on what you do want.

Here are several reasons change works this way:

1. When you try to change an undesirable behavior, you are telling your partner her behavior is wrong. None of us accept being wrong as easily as being right.

2. Often criticism is backed by anger that puts your partner on the defensive. No one is at his creative best when forced to the defensive position.

3. When you seek more of what you want, you are in fact praising yourself or your partner for what is going on. Praise is one of the best motivators to encourage people. Remember to apply this to yourself; praise yourself often.

4. Negativity, either expressed or just thought about, causes you to lose your feeling of power. Check this out; experience how you feel when in your mind you criticize your partner. Now, in your thoughts, give praise and notice the difference in how you feel about yourself. You feel more powerful in the praise scenario.

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Why does my husband always disagree? Why does my wife put my ideas down?

One of the most irritating aspects of life as a united couple is trying to convince your spouse when they take a Macho attitude. Wives say that when they want to suggest an idea to their spouse, or get an agreement that a problem needs to be fixed, they are often faced with denial and negative attitudes. Husbands report that when they want to try something new, their partners often reject their suggestion without proper consideration. And both men and women say that they resent tiptoeing around on eggshells to avoid getting their life partners angry.

Some people seem to be constantly negative or skeptical. How can you influence someone who always looks for the crack or the loophole in what you say? Doesn’t it seem unfair that it’s often with your life partner that you have the least credibility? What do you have to do to get taken seriously? It can be easier to just give up rather than spend time and energy trying to get people to listen.

When a person is running what we call a Macho Pattern, they operate as if they believe the following:

* They already know everything there is to know.

* They do not have any problems; they and everything connected with them are perfect.

* If there are problems, they are of someone else’s making.

* They are better, higher, more important, and more knowledgeable than anyone else.

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A recent study is revealing the hard facts that one needs to know, in order to unlock the secrets of building a lasting love relationship. This study revealed that marriage is very predictable. It also developed a decision-making tool that anyone can use to choose their true lover (from the open range of millions of singles), and show you how-to keep her/him successfully.

This study interviewed over 1,000 experienced adults ranging between the ages of 26 and 80 years old. Among these interviewed adults were the successfully married, the unsuccessfully married, the adult singles who had quit looking for a lover, those who were still trying to find their mates, and a few who had completely changed their sexual behaviors to escape the deep pain that hit hard into their soul. This study revealed all the information that has been missing, and I will progressively be sharing this incredible wealth of know-how in the articles on your web page.

Let me tell you some of what I found. Out of more than 1,000 adults interviewed, 280 adults had failed in marriage. They had a lot of stories and experiences, and I will only share a few of the hard learned lessons they had in common. Note that: the aim of sharing this information here is to empower you to understand how they failed, why they failed, and how you can use their experiences to enable you to make winning decisions to brighten your future. Please, study these findings:

1. As at the time of tying the knot, each of those 280 adults believed that their marriage was going to last forever, but that did not happen! They all learned this hard lesson; that being good and wanting to be successfully married is not enough on its own, because the success of your marriage truly depends on your husband or your wife. They proved that you cannot sustain a love relationship single handedly; it takes two to succeed. And therefore, it is important that you choose a lover who is right for you, and also finds you right to them; and I will share with you how to do this in the next articles.

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One of the things I love most about being The Relationship Specialist is that I get to empower relationships. I particularly love to teach men how to be their best so that their women totally adore them. Most husbands fall into the good or poor categories. They aren’t very happy with themselves and their wives don’t like them very much either. Great husbands are few and far between.

However, great husbands are much happier and they enjoy a richer degree of life. So, what is the difference? Here are some of the essential principles for becoming a great husband:

1) Listen To Her Feelings. You might not understand or agree but listen. Most men argue or get frustrated. A great husband conveys unconditional support to his wife. He makes it safe for her to share all sides of herself. A wife who can freely express herself will not only feel safe but a great husband will make her feel special as well.

2) Spend Time With Her. Let your actions clearly show that your wife is your greatest priority. She needs to know that she is special to you. Most men choose sports, T.V. , hunting or fishing. You can have these things but if your wife doesn’t know she comes first in your life then she may resent your other pursuits.

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Marriages can have troubled times. Maybe it’s because of infidelity or the quiet drifting apart of a long term marriage – in any case, when your marriage is having tough times, you need help to make things right again. However, not everyone has the resources or the time to seek professional help. The good news is that you can fix your relationship without a therapist, though you might need a therapist in the future.

For now, you have each other

When you’re hitting a rough spot in your marriage, it’s time to talk about why you want to save the marriage first. Sit down with your partner and start to discuss things that are keeping your together and memories that remind you of better times. You might want to sit down with photo albums and journals to talk about the times when you used to laugh, when you used to be happy. Many times, this simple exercise can help to put your current problems into perspective and help to put you on a positive path to a healthy relationship.

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