Do you want to know how to really frustrate a sexy woman who’s attracted to you, even drive her away? It’s a good idea to know this because most guys do it, not even aware they’re doing it, and then are mystified when she doesn’t want to spend time with them anymore.

Here it is: hold back from doing anything physical with her (touching, holding hands, or kissing) because you aren’t sure if she likes you are not. This drives a sexy woman crazy because most won’t initiate physical contact with a guy (although you’ve gotta love the rare exception), and she has to wait until he finally screws up the courage to do what she’s silently begging him to do all along. For some guys this can take weeks, even months, leaving the woman they’re attracted to frustrated, even pissed off.

A lot of men are afraid to initiate contact because they “aren’t sure” if she likes them or not. In turn, the sexy woman begins to wonder if he’s really attracted to her because he won’t initiate contact. What you wind up with is two people who are really attracted to each other, but frustrated because each “isn’t sure.”

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I have bad news for you–if it hasn’t already happened, some day a woman is going to break your heart. Yep, if you’re alive, you’re male, and you like women, some day one is going to break your heart. Although it can be mitigated, it can’t ever be completely avoided, and how you respond to it will determine your success with dating women.

What I’m going to do today is tell you how to get back into the dating game–many guys screw this up, either jumping right back in and getting into the good ol’ rebound relationship, or waste their lives mooning over the one that got away.

The first thing to realize is, no matter how much you use my dating strategies, if your relationship with a woman ends in a way you don’t want it to (and this may range from her dumping you to her dying in a car accident), you’re going to feel some pain, maybe some anger. You can’t avoid that, so just accept it.

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Are you tired of the same old routine first dates? Need a change from the dinner and a movie routine? Why not do something that gives you some insight into each other’s personality and is interesting? Not that I’m totally against dinner and a movie as a first date or even a tenth date. There is the benefit that you don’t have to think about what you’re going to say next for at least 90 minutes (even longer if it’s a Kevin Costner epic). I just think that a change needs to occur when I’ve seen all of the movies playing this month at the local megaplex. Another downside to dinner and a movie is that it can be inconvenient for those of us who work the nightshift. So I am offering the following ideas to inspire you to get out of the dating rut, whether it’s your first or tenth.

For the romantic, a picnic is an ideal choice as long as the weather cooperates. For inclimate weather you may have to get creative in your location, but don’t give up hope. Traditionally, picnicking is something that established couples do, but don’t be afraid to suggest it early in your romance. In addition to having as simple or elaborate meal as you choose, you can bring along a Frisbee or ball to play catch. You can also take a walk. For the less ambitious or weather bound, you can people watch or share a paper (Sunday papers work especially well). Another benefit is that daylight dating adds a little bit of safety, and you can always have an escape excuse if things aren’t going the way you planned (Examples: I’m babysitting for a friend, I’m having my teeth cleaned, I have to have dinner with my parents – you get the idea.). People also seem to be more honest about themselves in the cold light of day, which is always refreshing. Finally, there is the benefit that you can always continue the date into the evening if things are going exceptionally well.

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It doesn’t matter how you got to be single in your mid-thirties. What does matter, however, is that you have certain priorities in order so that you can protect yourself and those you date from getting hurt. There are too many reasons to list on why you’re on the market at this stage in your life, but you should be clear on your goals, both long and short-term. You don’t want to be led on or trapped into something you didn’t want in the first place.

The very first things you need to consider are your short and long-term relationship goals. If you are a confirmed bachelor (or bachlorette) you definitely don’t want to be dating someone who is determined to settle down and start a family. Age is often tied to this as well. A twenty-something may be looking for a good time or to tie the knot. While a boy toy or trophy can be fun in the short-term, if you are looking for a serious relationship you may want to look elsewhere.

There are a lot of things to consider when dating either above or below your age bracket. If you fall for someone who is a lot younger, you may get hurt because they can lack maturity that comes only from life experience. Twenty-somethings are often still trying to figure out where they fit in, and are still forming their goals. Another problem is children; they may or may not want them. If you get really serious, as in any age bracket, you need to discuss each other’s views on children.

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The phone rings at 3:00 Monday afternoon and it is your best girlfriend Jenny, inviting you to dinner next weekend. What a nice thought, until she tells you there is “this guy she just knows you’ll like”.

Do these “arranged situations” ever work out; these blind dates that well meaning friends and families attempt to arrange for all of us at some point in our lives? What do we have to lose anyway? Well, let’s just look at what happened when Jenny tried to do this favor for her friend Lisa!

It had been a long Monday for Lisa, and she was ready for a friendly voice on the telephone. When she heard from Jenny, it was the bright spot in her day. Little did Lisa know what an impact this call would have on her life for the next few weeks. Jenny invited her to a restaurant they had both been anxious to try out; a new little Italian place with red checked tablecloths, a real live violinist, and a tempting selection of wonderful foods and wines. This was just what she was needed to plan for to help her get through her week!

But wait, there’s a catch, and he has a name. Jenny knows this fellow named Bob who just moved to town and is a really nice guy. She thought it would be “fun” to do a double date Saturday night with Bob and his friend from work. It sounded harmless since they’ve both wanted to try out the new place, so Lisa accepted Jenny’s invitation and they both made plans to meet at Berelli’s Saturday night.

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