Guys who have lower self confidence when it comes to women like to think that they don’t “deserve” to get the kind of women they want deeply inside. Well, if you belong to this group I have good news for you. Just keep reading!

I usually put women into 3 categories: in the first there are ugly or average looking girls. In the second category there are girls with “supermodel” looks. And I named the last category, “girls you really like”. The first needs no explanation. The second category changes by time and fashion: currently, it’s girls who are 180cm tall, who weigh 50kg and who have mostly blonde hair and a certain type of face. When we talk about “hot girls” we like to talk about girls in this category. But what about the third?

Have you noticed that there are certain women you have “a thing” for? These girls don’t resemble the actual trend in supermodels. At least not in 100%. They are taller or shorter. They might have a bigger nose or smaller lips. They might not have the biggest boobs. But there is one thing in common: you will have a “fetish” for these girls. A little thing or feature on their body, which attracts you like a magnet.

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In this day and time relationships are very hard to maintain. The attitude is that if this relationship doesn’t work out than I will find another one. One of the reasons people live together instead of getting married is so the breakup will be less of a headache and less time consuming. People expect to break up after a while. In the days when my parents got married, it was considered a life long commitment. My parents were married from 1936 until my mother passed away in 1992. Even than, my father never remarried. In his mind, he was still married to my mother. As my father was dying in September of 2000 he spoke of my mother and about being with her again. I am not saying my parent’s marriage was perfect, but they worked through any problems they had. Besides the attitude that relationships don’t last, there is sexual freedom and temptations. There is the unwillingness of two people to work out their problems. It is easier to give up than to work at a relationship. Both people in the marriage usually work and they have less time for each other on a personal level.

I perform wedding ceremonies, but before I do, I offer a simple premarital class. I feel the things I have to teach them, if they choose to listen, will help them stay together as life long partners.

The number one killer of a relationship is the lack of intimacy. In todays society the fear of intimacy is an enormous problem. How often have you revealed yourself or something to someone you felt you could trust, just to have them use it against you ? Or they become angry with you, causing you to regret bringing it up in the first place.

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“Why isn’t she with you?” “She left.” “Why?” “There were so many reasons.” “There were not so many reasons. There was only one. You made yourself too available.”

-From JOURNEY TO IXTLAN: THE LESSONS OF DON JUAN by Carlos Castaneda.

The characters in the above scenario are men, but women often make themselves too available in relationships, as well. The consequences are usually disastrous.

Hey, we tell ourselves, I like the guy. He might be the one! Can’t let him slip through my fingers! So, we stay home and wedge the last bit of peanut butter from the jar for dinner. Can’t run out for real food and risk missing his call!

When he does call, we move heaven and earth to hang out with him. So what if we had plans to go out with friends on Friday night? Cancel! So what if we had a dentist appointment when he called at the last minute about having football tickets. Cancel! Hey, these things aren’t important, right?

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Be honest. It has happened to all of us. There was this girl… A girl you might have never even talked to… But still… You couldn’t help but think about her all day… And the more you thought about her, the less courage you had to go up to her and invite her for a get-together.

The above situation repeats itself from time to time. Back in high school with the girl who went one class below you, at university with that wonderful woman who always sat in the second row or later with the lady who works at the room next to yours.

And the damn feeling, this one-sided “love” keeps reappearing and making your life a misery. The more you idolize these girls, the further they go from your reality, and being with them one day in the future becomes nothing more than a mere fantasy.

Lesson #1: In a relationship but more importantly, when going out for the first time with somebody, it’s always the person with less emotional involvement who dictates and chooses. This means if you go out with a girl, and you let your happiness depend on how the date goes, you are ruining your chances before you had any. The more you stress yourself about a certain girl, the more emotionally involved you become and as a result, you are almost GUARANTEED to get rejected.

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What is true matching about? It is about people that seem to be made for one another. But this may become a deceiving matter because matching begins with honesty.

1. The first you have to do is being honest with yourself, knowing who you are and what you are about. This issue tightly depends on your selfesteem, so work it out at this instant, always keep in mind a good image of yourself, this is the essence of being ready for your love!

2. Remember that unless you are ready to meet the love of your life, it won’t come for you, because everything depends on how much you want it to happen. Wise men say that when you really want something, the whole Universe rearanges itself for making your wish come true. And believe me there is enough room for everybody’s desires. So let your desire grow stronger every day.

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