I get so much conflicting data regarding the effects of divorce on children. Some “experts” say children adjust and function well and others say children suffer well into adulthood and it affects their later relationships.

I am so confused as to what to believe. I came across your website yesterday, and it is wonderful to read something that finally makes sense to me. I have remained in an unhappy marriage for years. I am afraid to end the marriage because I don’t want to damage my children for the rest of their lives.

I constantly remind myself that some children who grow up in happily married homes don’t necessarily turn out to be outstanding adults. I also remind myself that it is more detrimental to raise children in a dysfunctional home than a divorced home.

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My boyfriend and I plan on buying a home together. He has been divorced 12 years and has four adult children, two boys from his first marriage and two girls from the second. They grew up together on weekends with their father and his second wife.

He and his first wife hate each other. He gets along with his two daughters and now, after a period of estrangement, with his older son. Recently he has not had contact with his younger son. I am concerned. This young man is a college grad but more of a momma’s boy and in the past into drugs.

My boyfriend loves all his children and misses them terribly when they’re not in his life. I have known him as a friend for 10 years, dated him for six, but the children have not met me.

When he dated and lived with another woman, she verbally mistreated the children. She never incorporated his family photos in their house, and all pictures were of her family only. I am sure the children noticed this the few times they were invited over.

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I am a married man whose wife is a binge drinker. We have four children at home. My wife was a great mother and my best friend. She’s been drinking now for 15 years, gone to meetings, and had all there is to be offered by the National Health Service.

When she left us, she went into shelters or lived on the streets. Last year in October it took its toll. She hit bottom. I am a self-employed engineer and managed to work and keep everything going at home. My wife got dry and spent Christmas with us and got herself a job. This week after eight months for no reason she started to binge again.

I tried to stop the cycle. I talked and talked to her. It didn’t do any good. She missed her 16-year-old daughter’s school show in the West End, and let our 8-year-old down again. These children need their mother. I need her.

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