Truth Denied

I’m a senior in high school and have been dating this guy almost a year. We were a very mature couple. He was just the sweetest boyfriend, and we couldn’t be happier. He was also a very physical person, which I like, but we never actually crossed over the line.

Things were going excellent until Christmas break, though I started to notice he became more stubborn and unaccepting of my faults. The break started perfectly: we only saw each other once, but we texted each other, spoke on the phone, and had several intimate conversations online.

The one night I did see him, we went on a nice romantic dinner and afterward made out in his car. Everything after that went smoothly until my family went for vacation. I overlooked a text message from him and did not see it until the next day. I felt stupid, so I texted him trying to explain.

I got a reply that confused me. I thought he was making fun of me, so I replied back on a sarcastic note. I had not meant to be serious, but he took it seriously. Why? Because in the meantime he texted another message, but apparently I lost the signal and never got it. I only figured that out later.

I decided I would clear things up as soon as school started, but he did not return the first day. I tried calling his cell phone, but he didn’t answer. I called his home phone, but he wasn’t home. Next day at school I caught him in the hall, and he exploded at me. “There’s nothing more to explain. It’s clear you don’t care about me. We’re over, okay?”

I was shocked. He says he doesn’t trust me and right now doesn’t want to see me. Maybe one day when he forgets everything, but for now, it’s over.

The thing is we miscommunicated. I replied to the wrong message. I can make stupid mistakes once in awhile, but not because I don’t care. What can I say to make him believe me? What should I do to keep myself from making more stupid mistakes later on?

Krystle

Krystle, genuine love is a force from another dimension, like the migration of animals, the connection between twins, or the bond between mother and child. While love doesn’t force us to put the other person on a pedestal, it tends to make us want to do that. One thing love doesn’t do is make us want to dig a hole for the other person to step in.

Your boyfriend sets himself up as all perfection while making you the beggar in this relationship. Where are his faults, like being stubborn, demanding, and not trusting? After he has made you suffer long enough, will he condescend to take you back?

If you accept terms like those, it will always make you his underling. That isn’t what love feels like. He dumped you over a missed text message. What would he do if something actually happened?

You explained, and he refused your explanation. It’s his loss. He sees the worst in you, and that is neither love nor something you can live with.

Wayne & Tamara

Hoodwinked

I just have one question. My husband slept with one of my so-called friends. I think he slept with another one of my so-called friends and flirted with a third so-called friend. He says I am blowing things out of proportion. What should I do?

Astrid

Astrid, you are in a so-called marriage with a so-called husband, and you have so-called friends. Life is not “so-called.” It’s the real deal.

In your heart you know a relationship is supposed to be wonderful. In your heart you know friends are supposed to be trustworthy. In your heart you know you can never be happy with “so-called” people in your life.

Wayne & Tamara