Enough!

I have worked for my present employer six years and been in this industry for 20. Two years ago an aging person, who has been in the business 40 years, came onboard. That after he was fired from one of our competitors for reasons unknown.

He is rude and demeaning in what he considers a “fun” way. He selects one or two individuals each day to pick on. He likes to joke about things like me being a homosexual. Not that there’s anything wrong with being gay, but I am not and he knows it.

He jokes about things like small private parts, skanky women, and the whole gamut. He’s wily enough to pick and choose his targets, and to be sure that the ears that count don’t hear. I had been able to handle his daily smut without a problem until recently.

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I have been lucky in life, growing up in nice neighborhoods, going to good schools, with parents who are very successful financially. I am about to finish my bachelor’s degree and work full-time at a good job. I am 20 and things are going great.

My wonderful boyfriend is 22 and has been less lucky. He was raised by an amazing single mother who has worked two jobs to support her four children; they are from a low-income, mostly Latino community, where the schools are poor. As a result, life has been harder for him.

Unlike my parents who have given me money to save, he has had to work full-time, often living paycheck to paycheck. Because of this he had been out of school but just started working on his degree again.

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Middle Man

I’m torn about how to handle this. My 23-year-old daughter got engaged last November. This weekend she and her fiancé visited us. Yesterday I sat down at my computer and her fiancé’s e-mail was still open. In the sent mail I found pictures of his ex-girlfriend wearing nothing but a partially-open robe.

This e-mail is one he sent to himself in January. I’m no prude, but I think if nothing else this was stupid on his part. It would cause a major issue if she discovered it. Best case, they’re pictures from years ago, and he simply wanted to keep them. Worst case, she is still sending him photos.

I’m thinking of confronting him, and if he’s honest with me, then I’ll bury this. But if he lies, I will make him come clean with my daughter. I don’t want to cause a problem where there isn’t one, but I don’t want to ignore something that may be a real issue.

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