Most people do not understand the nature of cheating within a relationship. Let’s begin by taking a look at that before going any further. Even though it always seems and is horribly unfair to any victim of infidelity, there are always two sides to every story.

The person who cheats doesn’t easily fit into a single mold. There are those who will cheat once and never repeat the mistake. Some will continue the practice until they feel satiated. Others make a lifestyle out of being unfaithful. If you are considering how to handle a cheating partner, you must first decide how likely it is that they will repeat the same behavior over again.

The best-case scenario for any type of reconciliation between two people when one cheats are situations where the Cheater confesses. People who admit to cheating without having been caught or even suspected are unlikely to repeat their mistake. It might take a bit of prodding to discover the reason for their unfaithfulness, however, in most cases it’s because they were completely frustrated with their life.

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Vanessa, 30 years old, is struggling with whether or not to end her six-year marriage. The answer is not at all clear to her.

Vanessa and Jon have a “good” marriage. They are kind and caring with each other. They enjoy many of the same things. So why is Vanessa in such turmoil over whether to stay or leave?

The problem is that Vanessa is very lonely with Jon. They are good friends, but they are not emotionally intimate. Jon has no desire to share any of his feelings with Vanessa, nor does he have any desire to understand Vanessa’s feelings. He is content to keep everything on the surface, while Vanessa wants a deeper emotional connection.

Since they have many good things in their marriage, Vanessa has decided to try marriage counseling, and Jon has agreed. Counseling or not, there is only one thing that can save this marriage – Jon and Vanessa shifting out of their intent to protect against pain and into an intent to learn about what is loving to themselves and each other.

Jon’s intent has always been to protect against pain rather than to learn about being loving to himself and others. He has done this by numbing out his feeling with marijuana and work. Jon’s choice to continue to protect against pain or to begin to open to learning from his feelings will determine the outcome of the counseling.

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At first dating is fun but as you go on it’s so easy to fall into a rut. A night at home with rental movies or a dinner out or a movie is all you ever seem to do and you are getting bored. The boredom most likely is not because of whom you are with, it could be that you have fallen into a comfortable rut.

There are so many options of things to do but sometimes people are afraid to try something new. I don’t like it, now what? What do I do if I like it and she doesn’t? Fun and excitement can be apart of your life again don’t give up. Since you and your dating partner have common interests let’s take a look at all the various kinds of dates that you create.

Let’s take a look at general types of dates and try to expand on them. There are movie dates, dinner dates, and dancing dates. At best, they would make a very short date, by themselves. Do you think a dinner and a movie or a movie and dinner at club that has dancing is a good idea? Going to one of the many movies or going to clubs that cater to various genres could be fun.

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Where There’s Smoke

I am currently dating a man I know I could fall in love with. Everything matches up—physically, emotionally, sports, and our ideas about the future. But he is legally separated from an alcoholic wife who is the mother of his two teenage daughters.

Today she was arrested for drunk driving and hit-and-run. She fled to my boyfriend’s house for cover and was handcuffed and taken to jail. He is, by the way, a fireman who works many hours and is very responsible. He told me he does not ever want to get back together with her.

I know exes are part of someone’s life, but should I back out of this relationship because of the drama, or be patient and a shoulder to lean on during the turmoil?

Daphne

Daphne, rats raised to the music of Mozart prefer Mozart, and chicks raised around matchboxes prefer matchboxes to the company of other chicks. Human beings prefer the foods, colors, smells and other items they grew up with. We seek the familiar, and that is why growing accustomed to new situations can be difficult.

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I am dating a man who is going through a divorce. We are together for a year now, and the divorce process just started for him. He moved out of the house three months ago, and his ex-wife to be and two teenagers know about me. They were married 18 years, and as I understand, during this time she was in control.

Now she is totally going crazy. His children treat him like nothing, not because of me, but because they are spoiled. Even in the divorce process, his wife is trying to get everything her way, and I am the top subject.

She asked him to sign a paper that for six months when the kids are with him, I can’t be there; also, for a year we can’t sleep together when it’s his days with the kids. When the kids are with her, she tells them things, and they hate him all over. We have a lot of drama here.

My boyfriend is worried, can’t sleep, and is not in a good mood. He is having chest pains and that worries me. She knows his weakness and pushes him into stress. She seems to enjoy hurting him. We have a good friend, a psychologist, and she recommends not speaking to his ex at all. He says I make him happy, and together we will go through this.

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