I want to begin our dialog by going through some of the stupid things women do to mess up their life, things which delay finding their soul mate. All of us have been stupid at one time or another. The only difference is how long we want to continue walking down that long corridor of stupidity. Of course, this is only a partial list, but it’ll be enough for you to examine yourself so you can find out if you are doing stupid things to attract stupid men.

Stupid women sleep with their best friend’s boyfriend or somebody else’s husband.

This stupid woman is too dumb to recognize she’s in bed with a stupid man. If the man is cheating on the one he supposedly loves, sooner or later he’s going to cheat on the stupid woman too. The law of attraction holds that all of us, sooner or later, must reap the consequences of our infidelity. A teenager may cheat with her best friend’s boyfriend when she’s sixteen years old only to find, after twenty years of marriage, her life is devastated by the infidelity of her husband. If a woman does not correct this issue in herself, she will always attract a stupid man who will break her heart.

Stupid women rush into relationships.

Again, if need is the driving factor behind wanting a relationship, the stupid woman is doomed to act out of desperation and settle for just about any man who comes ‘a courtin.’ A desperate woman generally has low self-esteem. She sees herself purely from a physical standpoint and has abandoned her goddess identity. Her mind is filled with all sorts of rationalizations as to why she must have a man.

For example, she might believe her biological clock is winding down and no one will want her after she reaches a certain age. Thus, she sees herself from the perspective of a fading image. The image tells her she must make a quick decision based upon her age, weight, wrinkles, or even her sexual urges. This woman will always attract a stupid man who’s in love with images. And as soon as the stupid woman’s image fades a little more, the stupid man will be off again chasing after another image.

Stupid women say stupid things and get what they say.

We’ve talked a lot about the power of the tongue. Idle or careless words spoken will create your future. If you look back over your life, you will see that your words have been instrumental in putting you in the position you are now. Don’t take my word for it. Examine it for yourself. My question to you is: How’s it working for you? What fruit has your idle, good-for-nothing and useless chatter gotten you? Learn to erase and eradicate these clichés from your thought life and keep them far from your lips.

All the good men are taken.

If this is true, why want a man at all? You’d be better off by yourself than you would be with a man who will not love you.

All the good men are either married or gay.

This is such nonsense that I could similarly respond with: If this is true, why don’t you just stick to going after gay and married men?

All men think with their penis.

This is girls’ locker room chatter at its finest. A stupid man may think with his penis, but a man of power can live without anything you have to offer him. Like some of you and your vibrator, he can do quite well with his imagination and a magazine. Men start out masturbating, and I’m sure some of us can end that way. This is one of the greatest myths out there. When a woman believes this, she is sure to try to use her body as a last resort to keep a man. The only problem is there are a million other female bodies out there for the taking. Anyway, a man could always buy sex if he wanted it badly enough and save himself from any expectations you may impose on him.

All men cheat.

Again, if this is true, why sacrifice your emotional well-being on man who’s incapable of being faithful to you? Why settle for heartache when you think a man cannot be trusted? Women who believe all men cheat never open up enough to trust a man. A closed heart cannot receive anything good, including a soul mate. You are destined to attract the man who matches your inward emotional vibration. Thus, look for a man to enter your life carrying the same kind of baggage you carry. You must get yourself emotionally healthy if you really want to share life with your soul mate.

What most men want is a maid.

If you haven’t figured out most men can function in some form of disorder, I feel sorry for you. Yes, there are women and men who are great house cleaners, cooks, etc., but a man who is looking for his soul mate does not want a maid. His desire is to be with someone he can enjoy spending time with. This man is after authentic relationship, acceptance and respect. A soul mate is more likely to help around the house even when he doesn’t want to. He recognizes the relationship as something divinely orchestrated. He’s not about to sacrifice his love for you by being lazy.

Stupid women do not live in the now.

A woman who lives constantly from her past experiences is blind to the opportunities she has in this moment. Your soul mate is in the now. You cannot be focused on any pain associated with your past failed relationships and receive anything other than what you’re focusing on. Your feelings, thoughts and speech must all be in alignment. Are you focusing or thinking about anything other than our dialog at this moment? Are you combing your hair or driving your car at this very moment? No. You are not engaged in either of these activities.

The now always requires your immediate attention. Your past experiences, even those that happened to you earlier today have been added as memories to the process of thought which is moving right beneath your conscious mind. That information is waiting for any external stimuli to trigger it and cause you to respond in the same ways as you always have. Repeated patterns of thought lead to repeated patterns of behavior and both are affecting your inner life (your emotions, brain, and body chemistry) and your outer life (the one who shows up on your doorstep). How you feel about men will determine what kind of man is going to show up. If you are used to being hurt and failing in relationships, your brain has already recorded this information with all its emotional content and is physically altering your brain in such a way that it will be difficult to change your thinking and situation. You have been damaging yourself for a long time by your stinking thinking. You never knew you were messing up your body and your relationships. You always thought the men you dated or married were the problem. It was never about him; it was always about you. Now that you have insight into some of your problems, you can restructure your mind, body and spirit.

Awareness and insight are always in the now. They never come out of the past because the past is incapable of producing anything new. For example, some of the information we’ve been discussing has been talked about before. Some of you have already heard people speaking about the ‘laws of attraction.’ It has become a buzzword of sorts. The information is thousands of years old but since the western mindset is one focused on the ability of reason, we are slow to grasp things of spiritual significance. Yes, some of you have heard parts of what we’ve talked about on a surface level. Now, however, you have insight into the deeper workings of these laws and how they affect every aspect of the personality.

On the other hand, there are those of you who have never heard of the ideas we’ve been discussing. To you, there is a flash of insight; an awareness of something that rings true, something you never thought about, but somehow it makes sense to you. Now, because of this insight, your brain has already been triggered to see things in an entirely different way. You are restructuring yourself. This restructuring is a life-long process. You’ve been living most of your life in the dark, but new insight is giving you light. Needless to say, your soul mate is here in the now. When you are ready to receive him, nothing will be able to keep you two from being together.

Stupid women refuse to look at their co-dependent behavior.

When a woman is persistently trying to alter a man’s behavior through manipulation, coercion or domination, it’s a sure sign that she’s codependent. Keep in mind Melody Beattie’s definition of a codependent person: “a person who lets another person’s behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person’s behavior.

If you’ve been obsessed with what a man does or if you spend most of your time complaining about him and telling family and friends about how much he hurt you, it’s another good sign you’re codependent.

Also, you may have wanted to get back at a man for whatever reason or tried to get him to see things your way, and when he refused to give in to your demands, things got nasty and he either left or you threw him out. My guess is he left. Again, one unhealthy characteristic of a codependent person is they tend to find themselves attracted to needy people and needy people are attracted to them. Thus, a man leaving you is more likely than you throwing him out. Besides, you think you need a man…remember? The bottom line is that this type of woman’s need for love and approval will ensure a series of failed relationships.

Being angry with the men in your past for whatever reason will continue to serve as a convenient distraction to keep you from dealing with why you are the way you are. And there are also many other external circumstances that will also try to draw your attention away from dealing with any codependent issues you may have. Again, coming to grips with yourself, your behavior and why you are attracted to stupid men is crucial. You must understand codependent males will often attract females who mirror them in some way.

Also, do not make the mistake of believing that living with both parents will exclude you from the dynamics of codependency. Just because your mother and father lived together doesn’t mean they loved each other. I know plenty of women who were raised by both parents and they still struggle with various codependent dynamics in their life. You must realize that many fathers are emotionally distant. They can love their daughters and still have difficulty expressing that love because of their own codependent issues. A woman who had a hard-working, loving father in the household, who failed to demonstrate his love to his daughter physically and emotionally, will set the daughter up for a series of dysfunctional relationships. You can bet that she will grow up looking for another man to fulfill what she didn’t get from her father. She will become a codependent predator and will consciously go after or unconsciously attract a stupid man, often the first man she thinks can provide her with the love she needs.

Codependent women believe that happiness comes from the outside, and they will often depend on a man to validate their self-worth and give them the good feelings they feel they desperately need. This desperation for love and the approval from men will cause them to use just about every trick in the book to get their man hooked.

In addition, some of you might have been sexually or emotionally abused and may be repressing some other traumatic event that occurred in your childhood or at some other stage of your life. It’s impossible for you to fully enjoy your soul mate if you don’t come clean and start working on these issues. You can meditate all you want and speak positive affirmations until you are blue in the face and still not get anywhere. Even if Mr. Right showed up, you would do nothing more than mess up this wonderful relationship by attempting to control him. You’d try to force him to undo all the damage done to you by another man.

Furthermore, if you are a woman who tries to control everything, you can see that most of your relationships ended on a nasty note. It’s likely that a stupid man enabled your controlling, manipulative behavior until he saw that you were unwilling to meet his needs. (Remember, because of the law of attraction, his happiness, for a time, was dependent on you.) He probably kept going along with the program and rewarded you as long as you made him feel good. But needy codependent people are like vampires, and they will attempt to suck the life out of everyone around them. Some of you have already experienced what it’s like to be stuck in a relationship with a needy, codependent man. He wants to know where you’re going, who with, and what time you’ll be back and so on.

Just remember codependent women, like men, often compound their problems by leaving one dysfunctional relationship to run right back into another dysfunctional relationship with another codependent person. This person can’t help but be drawn to another codependent man because she is held captive by the law of attraction. This law says emotionally unhealthy people can only attract emotionally unhealthy people. What this means is, your cycle of running from codependent man to codependent man will be never ending. In short, you’re doomed to keep on doing what you’ve been doing and attracting what you’ve been attracting. The cycle will only stop when you become aware that you’ve got a problem with codependency and do something about it. A little counseling won’t kill you. It all has to do with being serious about taking care of yourself so that you can become healthy enough to sustain a relationship with a wonderful man, not a stupid man.

Just keep these things in mind and everything, I repeat, everything, will work itself out over time. There’s no need to rush into anything. You are much more precious than anything else out there. Your soul mate is not going anywhere. He’s just waiting on you to get your act together. Again, remember these little points, and you’ll do fine.