Archive for July, 2008

The Art Of Breaking UpJul 21, 2008

Sometimes, relationships run their course. You may be at fault or not, but when its time to bring your relationship to an end, you want to do so cleanly and effectively. Here are some suggestions:

1) If you have personal items at your lover’s place, you want to begin getting them back. This is much more difficult to do after the breakup. If your lover has things around your home, put these in a box and have them ready to move. Be thorough - you don’t want to have things left around for him/her to need to come back for later.

2) Don’t involve your friends, family, co-workers, etc., in the breakup. This is only between you and your mate. Adding others to the breakup just increases the humiliation factor.

3) If you’re afraid of a scene, break up at a public venue such as a restaurant. However, don’t “lure” your soon-to-be-ex lover there under false pretenses. Explain that you want to “talk about your relationship.”

4) Don’t wait until a “good time.” Do it as soon as you make the decision. Waiting only prolongs the inevitable and makes it even more difficult. Be bold!

5) However, don’t breakup on a day with special significance. For example, don’t breakup on Christmas Day, Easter, or your ex-partner’s birthday. This is cruel, and may spoil that day for this person for many future years.

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Blind DateJul 20, 2008

The phone rings at 3:00 Monday afternoon and it is your best girlfriend Jenny, inviting you to dinner next weekend. What a nice thought, until she tells you there is “this guy she just knows you’ll like”.

Do these “arranged situations” ever work out; these blind dates that well meaning friends and families attempt to arrange for all of us at some point in our lives? What do we have to lose anyway? Well, let’s just look at what happened when Jenny tried to do this favor for her friend Lisa!

It had been a long Monday for Lisa, and she was ready for a friendly voice on the telephone. When she heard from Jenny, it was the bright spot in her day. Little did Lisa know what an impact this call would have on her life for the next few weeks. Jenny invited her to a restaurant they had both been anxious to try out; a new little Italian place with red checked tablecloths, a real live violinist, and a tempting selection of wonderful foods and wines. This was just what she was needed to plan for to help her get through her week!

But wait, there’s a catch, and he has a name. Jenny knows this fellow named Bob who just moved to town and is a really nice guy. She thought it would be “fun” to do a double date Saturday night with Bob and his friend from work. It sounded harmless since they’ve both wanted to try out the new place, so Lisa accepted Jenny’s invitation and they both made plans to meet at Berelli’s Saturday night.

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Men, Women, and SexJul 19, 2008

During my many years of counseling couples, I have frequently worked with the sexual problems that often occur in committed relationships. The most common complaint from men regarding sex is frequency, and the most common complaint from woman is lack of emotional intimacy.

There is a very good reason why these are the most common complaints – men and women are very different when it comes to sex!

The biological sexual drive, or lack of it, relates to how much testosterone is present. Men biologically have much more testosterone than women. Men’s biology equips them to be ready for sex most of the time, which is nature’s way of ensuring the survival of the species. Women, on the other hand, often do not experience a biological sexual drive unless they are in the middle of their menstrual cycle. This fact can create a big problem in relationships.

I’ve often heard men complain that:

“It’s not fair. My wife is in control of our sex life. If she wants it, then we have it. If she doesn’t, then I have no say about it. Why does it always have to be her way?”

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How To Survive And Enjoy A Blind DateJul 18, 2008

You may not agree, but it seems to me that blind dates are high on the list of things that everyone loves to hate. I have just one question – why?

Apparently, there are a number of myths about blind dates that are ruining their reputation. If you’re interested in exploding those myths and learning how to make blind dates productive and even enjoyable, this article is for you.

Myth #1: Blind dates are silly because you can just as well meet someone spontaneously.

Fact: Let’s face it. If you’re working full time, how many opportunities do you have to suddenly meet a potential dating partner? The majority of married couples will tell you: They did not meet at a club or in college. Someone introduced them. The sooner you accept that a blind date can be the most valuable tool in searching for your soul mate, the sooner your whole outlook on blind dates will take a positive turn – and so will your ability to utilize them.

Myth #2: Your first impression on a blind date is usually correct. Go with it.

Fact: The area where first impressions count least might just be blind dates. Anyone can be nervous on a first date, or have had an awful day at work. Be honest: Do you show who you really are inside on that first, blind date? Well, neither does your date. Instead, look at it as an icebreaker. Don’t make any decisions if they’re based on mere impressions. Just relax and enjoy the evening as much as possible. Don’t let first impressions get in the way.

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Instantly Spark A Woman’s AttractionJul 17, 2008

Have you ever noticed this?

Whenever a guy is with an attractive woman, he would naturally want to attract her attention. Nothing new, right?

You will then notice, if she’s really a ‘hot’ one, the guy will not only want to attract her attention, but he’ll also want to try to impress her in whatever way he can.

He might be thinking that he wants to be different from the other guys. And what will he do? Well, even though his mindset is right, I would say that most likely, without him realizing it, he won’t he will do the obvious.

He’ll be nervous as hell ie. he will naturally tend to talk faster, more abruptly, fidget & move about more, etc when he’s with her.

Notice that some guys will even have their own lil’ ‘interview’ thing going on in their head.

They’ll have sort of like these pre-set questions that they’ll be ever so ready to pound the girl with; lame questions ie. “how old are you,” “where are you from”, “what do you like doing in your free time,” “how’s is your mom doing,”how’s your dad doing?”…

Know what I’m talking about?

They’ll just keep asking these questions non-stop thinking that this will actually keep the conversation going but honestly, don’t you think an attractive woman gets asked the same ‘ol questions all the time?

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