If you’re a single parent and trying to date it can be tough Thinking about dating and having the time to date sometimes seem as far apart as East is from West. Questions run through your mind…

Am I being selfish? Do I have the time? Who is going to watch the kids? It’s been so long. Do I even know how to date?

It can seem overwhelming and look like a far away dream if you didn’t have anyone to guide you. Lucky for you , we’ve picked the minds of successful single dating parents and put together an action plan that will make dating fun, safe and rewarding.

The Action Plan

Your action plan is made up of five simple steps. Each step is designed to build upon the previous one. The goal is for you to spend time with quality dates that respect you and your situation. You will put your plan on paper. Why? Writing takes your plans out of the world of thought and brings it into the world of reality. Get your paper and pencil and let’s begin!

Step 1. Asses your situation.

Do you really have the time to date? As a single parent your activities revolve around your kids. Caring for a even a single child is a full time effort. If you have more than one child your workload multiplies. If you decide to date you’ll need to create flexibility in your weekly plans and plan in advance. It takes time to find love. If you want love…make the time. Write down the time available each week that you think you can devote to dating. Schedule it.

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Kevin apologized to Melissa after he missed an appointment. It was a simple misunderstanding, so Melissa said she wasn’t really upset, just frustrated and disappointed.

But Kevin sensed there was more to it. Melissa’s smile seemed forced, and he felt there was more she wanted to say, but Melissa insisted they forget about it and move on. Still, Kevin had an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Emotional Incongruence

Emotional authenticity–acknowledging your true feelings–initiates enlightened conflict resolution. Yet this can be compromised by emotional incongruence: denying or trying to cover your true feelings, either intentionally or not.

Most people have learned to hide their feelings. They’ve learned to be guarded because dropping the mask and being emotionally honest can lead to feeling vulnerable. In the heat of the moment, it can be hard to see how honesty and vulnerability might be good, how completely disarming they can be and how important they are to building trust and compassion.

No, in the heat of the moment, hiding seems like a better idea. And to make it more complex, sometimes you know you are doing it, and sometimes you don’t.

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Why when things go wrong, do we usually point the finger at someone else? Stop looking for excuses for failure. Instead uncover one of the most fundamental secrets of personal success.

Rob swore it was his wife’s fault. If she hadn’t nagged him into buying into that real estate deal in Costa Rica, then he wouldn’t have lost all that money.

Darwin blamed his brother. He was such a loser, and he’d dragged Darwin along with him when he hit those casino’s. Now they are both in deep financial trouble.

Karen knew though, it was all her husbands doing. He was useless: no focus, no direction, and now no job. If only he coulda got his act together then they would’ve been fine.

For Francis it was all the fault of her ex-best friend, Jan. Jan had always been jealous of her, making sure she drove a wedge between Francis and Francis’ boyfriend Cole, eventually destroying their relationship. She’d have married him by now it hadn’t been for that two-faced, conniving woman.

Blame. Blame. Blame.

You might not know them by name but you know they’re out there. They stopped you getting the best education, blocked your promotion, or made you look stupid in that really important meeting. They swiped the woman (or guy) you were crazy about while you turned your head the other way–just for a moment of course–they teased and bullied you when you were a shorty, leaving you with all kinds of chips to shoulder. Remember them? THEY weighted the deck against you, making sure you’d never get on in life…

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I’ve been married 25 years and have three children over 18. When we first got married, we were in a group of five couples. My husband had been friends with the husbands and one of the wives since college. This one wife was needy and always looking for attention.

Apparently, before I was married my husband had a few sexual encounters with this woman. Some of the wives got fed up with her constant flirtatiousness and pulled out of the group. When I tried to pull out, she supposedly told my husband if we did, she would tell me they were having an affair.

That was 13 years ago. Since then I’ve found sexual cards and text messages to and from my husband. He says it’s a way to appease her because she is unhappy in her marriage. More recently he met her at a club so he could stop her text messages and frequent phone calls.

He did not tell me of this meeting. I found out because I snooped. He says he was afraid to tell me because she would make stuff up. I filed for divorce. After that he had a hidden phone, which he says she sent him, and he would text her after I went to bed.

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If you’re tired of not getting the girl, you might want to take a look at how you’re speaking to women and just what it is you’re saying to them.

Your looks are only going to get you so far and since first impressions are everything, your conversational skills will be the determining factor in whether or not a woman agrees to go on a date with you. If you’ve ever wondered why women keep telling you no, the following article will shed some light on the common flirting mistakes you have been making and how you can avoid them from now on.

Mistake #1: Talking ’serious’ around women

Chances are you didn’t catch her eye by being Mister Serious. You were probably laughing and joking around (in other words, being yourself) with your friends. But, when you walk up to her, you think she wants to see that you are composed, sophisticated, and you can carry a mature conversation.

Solution — Be yourself. Don’t be afraid to open with a crazy question that one of your friends just asked you. If she laughs, you’re in. You don’t need to walk up to her and pretend that you have it ‘together.’ Don’t try to be something you are not — most women can see right through it.

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