If you have put any effort at all into online dating, I’m sure that you’ve read plenty about how to write online profiles, and how NOT to write them. Knowing the basics about that is a good thing, of course, and I’ve written my fair share on the subject.

The truth is that there is a wealth of information our there and help is readily available when it comes to creating terrific, effective online profiles. Yet, you can somehow always count on finding plenty of particularly entertaining material like what follows when browsing profile narratives.

All of these are lifted from actual profiles. Enjoy!

“I’m a walking, talking dichotomy. I hope you’re the same.”
After all, opposites attract, right?

“I need a man who can full feel my fantasies.”
I distinctly remember an email I wrote to this one entitled, “Feeling Full”. I don’t remember a response. Haha.

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With its growing popularity and burgeoning number of users, online dating offers a fun and legitimate way to meet people. There are many sincere and genuine people, who are interested in developing bona fide relationships, now turning to the internet for potential love matches.

The old stereotype of internet dating being used by the ’socially awkward’ or ‘perverts’ has been superseded. Sure, some such ‘characters’ do frequent online dating sites but these people also frequent bars, gyms, dance classes, community groups, workplaces, church congregations, park toilets and the like! The reality is that online dating sites now attract a wide range of people. People of all ages, from all walks of life and of all persuasions are now logging online to pursue love (and its many variations).

By linking you into a singles’ network much larger than what you could otherwise access, online dating can improve the odds of meeting someone with whom you are compatible. So…. the issue is not whether internet dating can help you find love. It can, and for thousands of people it already has. There are, however, a number of issues which make internet dating unique to more ‘traditional’ ways of meeting people. Being cognisant of these differences can help you be a more ‘streetwise’ internet dater and improve your chances of success online.

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I’ve worked intensively with hundreds of couples over the past 25 years and, of course, you will not be surprised to know that more women than men are “open” to marital therapy and talking about relationships in general.

Most men reluctantly enter the realm only if they “have to.” Their marital world usually needs to be in dire straits before they give their assent.

Here are some observations about this phenomenon:

1. Men think they are inadequate when it comes to expressing feelings or inner thoughts. And, they assume this is what marital therapy is all about. They perceive the woman as the expert in this realm and they assume that they will be in the “one-down” situation when it comes to working on the relationship. And, of course, no man wants to be one-down.

2. Men usually internalize. That is, they work through, or think through, a situation or problem. No one may know what is happening between their ears. Men usually do not have a need to “talk out” a problem or situation. And, of course, working on a relationship is about “talking it out.” At least that is what grocery store magazines and talk show hosts say.

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Kathy walked into my 5-Day Intensive workshop looking like a lost little girl. 42 years old, her large green eyes had the frightened look of a deer in the headlights.

Kathy had decided to attend the Intensive to work on her inability to sustain a relationship. A physically attractive woman, she had no trouble attracting men. Yet her relationships rarely lasted more than a few months.

As I worked with Kathy, it quickly became apparent that she expected anyone she was with to validate her and attend to her needs, yet when they did, she would withdraw and resist. She would easily become irritated and blaming when I didn’t give her the attention and approval that she wanted from me and from whomever she was with. Yet even when I did give her kindness and attention, she resisted opening to it.

I asked Kathy to imagine the little girl in her who was so needy of attention. As she closed her eyes and imagined her inner child, she started to cry.

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I am employed by a dentist who is a specialist. He has a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde personality. For the most part the staff has learned to deal with this, but not accept it. The rest of the staff has been with him for years, as have I. Our boss is generous in many ways, but his behavior often leaves us wondering if it is all worth it.

We are told to take an unpaid hour off for lunch, yet we are expected to pick up the phone and deal with his interruptions. The company he hired to do payroll handed us an office manual with the intended rules, yet it states they can change the rules at any time because he is an “at will” employer. I checked with a state agency and they agree.

Everyone in the office is grateful to be employed, but at the same time we are frustrated by the lack of respect we receive from him and by the overall standards that apply to “at will” employees. When we try to talk to him on issues, we are reminded of our place in this office with a you-can-move-on-if-you-want reply.

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