Truth Denied

I’m a senior in high school and have been dating this guy almost a year. We were a very mature couple. He was just the sweetest boyfriend, and we couldn’t be happier. He was also a very physical person, which I like, but we never actually crossed over the line.

Things were going excellent until Christmas break, though I started to notice he became more stubborn and unaccepting of my faults. The break started perfectly: we only saw each other once, but we texted each other, spoke on the phone, and had several intimate conversations online.

The one night I did see him, we went on a nice romantic dinner and afterward made out in his car. Everything after that went smoothly until my family went for vacation. I overlooked a text message from him and did not see it until the next day. I felt stupid, so I texted him trying to explain.

I got a reply that confused me. I thought he was making fun of me, so I replied back on a sarcastic note. I had not meant to be serious, but he took it seriously. Why? Because in the meantime he texted another message, but apparently I lost the signal and never got it. I only figured that out later.

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Wrong Example

I think I’m in a tight spot. My older brother is married with two young children. He was caught having a little Internet fling a few years ago. Nothing happened, but I suppose the correct way of putting it is he emotionally cheated.

He felt like crud, and we all thought he had put this behind him. He and his wife have been to counseling, and he did his best to be the best husband ever. Currently they’re tense whenever they are together. You can cut the air with a knife, and it seems they are always ready to snap at each other. It’s not easy to be around them.

My brother and I went to lunch today. Lately he’s been constantly texting on his BlackBerry, and today it lit up with a text. I glanced at what he was typing, thinking it was business. I saw him type, “So u say u like to role play. Tell me…” I stopped and looked at the ground. I got a sick feeling in my stomach.

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Reasonable Doubt

I have been married a dozen years and have four children. During our engagement my husband and I got into an argument and broke up. He tells me I told him I cheated on him with another guy in college and was considering ending our relationship for the other man.

I’m thinking this is what I told him. Asked by a friend if I would consider dating this guy I was attracted to, I answered, “Yes, if I were not dating my fiancé.” I do not remember saying I would have ended our relationship, nor do I remember saying I cheated.

The truth is I didn’t even know the other man. I answered a question my friend posed. I was 21, insecure, and flattered another man thought I was attractive. Regardless, I did not pursue him and until recently only knew his first name.

This has became a huge barrier in our marriage. We fight about it often, and it turns into ugly name-calling. Recently my husband said he felt so strongly about this because I told him myself. I have a hard time believing that, but he says, why would we break up over nothing?

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Cold Turkey

I dated a girl two years. The first time it ended because she started doing drugs and wouldn’t stop. When she began dating a druggie friend, I continued giving her rides, a place to crash for a night, and money. Then she left him and came back to me.

Cautiously I decided to give it another try. Unfortunately I found out she had been dating this other man and me at the same time. It ended once more. Later we started to talk again, but that ended with her taking my time and money, and then leaving.

My conscious mind can recognize she is all-around not a good person, much less good for me. I know she has taken much from me and given little in return. My mind seems to have completely gotten over her, but my body can’t seem to.

Whenever I see any white car remotely resembling hers, I turn and stare. If I see a girl with the same skin complexion, I can’t help but gaze. When I hear her name, my stomach tightens, and if I see her, I feel immensely downtrodden.

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My friend Jane and I enjoy a few drinks when we go out to clubs, and Jane has the occasional cigarette. Our friend Margo, however, does not smoke or drink and does not condone this behavior. She feels compelled to lecture Jane every time we go out.

Furthermore, Margo wants to be included, even though we know it’s going to end in the same disappointment for her…that we have not changed our behavior.

Margo does not drive and has not ever offered to pay for gas money, while Jane and I trade off. Whoever is driving, the other buys a drink early on in the night, or chips in a few bucks. At any rate, Margo tells Jane that she acts like a mother hen because she cares about her health, though it ends up sounding like a holier-than-thou lecture.

But if Jane has not changed her ways after numerous tries, we’re puzzled why Margo keeps trying. Margo also told one of our friends she doesn’t like the men we are dating and thinks we are settling. (They also drink and smoke.) Yet she told me to my face she’s happy that my current relationship is going so well.

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