I have always tried to deal with problems myself. I have never relied on anyone, but lately I don’t think I can anymore.

I’m the younger of two brothers. My father was always out of town on business, and my mother hired maids to take care of me and my brother. I was very close to him, since he was practically all the family I had nearby.

He is seven years older. When I was five, he started to play inappropriate games with me. Of course, at that time I didn’t understand it wasn’t how brothers should play. These games continued for years, until one day when I was eight, I told him I didn’t like the games.

He got so angry he dragged me into one of the guestrooms that was always empty and violated me. I never told anyone what happened out of fear. Now I’m 25. I have been unable to have any type of relationship with anyone, and since a few months ago I have started to feel an attraction towards males. I never felt this way before.

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Yakety-yak

I have been divorced two years and am now engaged. Recently my ex-husband calls me for everything. Did you take the kids to school on time? Do you have a sock that belongs to one of the kids? Et cetera, et cetera.

All these things I believe are for the best interest of my children. My fiancé says my ex calls all the time because he wants me back. I don’t understand that because I only have conversations with my ex about the kids. Now he does call about 20 times a day, but all the conversations concern the children.

Am I doing wrong by not putting my ex in his place? I’m afraid if I tell him I don’t want him calling all the time, he will take that as I don’t care about my children.

Tess

Tess, in 1938 E.B. White wrote that “…I attended a television demonstration at which it was shown beyond reasonable doubt that a person sitting in one room could observe the nonsense taking place in another.”

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Five months ago I started dating this girl. We started as friends, then it turned into the most beautiful passionate love I’d ever experienced. However, as time went on, I noticed red flags.

I noticed how extremely shallow she was and even a little racist, though she said it was just to be funny. I noticed she was immature and idolized her musician friends because she believed they might be famous one day. I was ready to leave her.

And I tried to, but on that day I tried to leave, she showed me a part of herself I’d never fully seen. She was mature and self-sacrificing. She cried and tried to stay strong and smile and tell me it was okay.

That’s when it hit me this girl was who I thought she was all along. So we stayed together. But about a month and a half later I found out more things that were deal breakers. She is a chronic, deliberate liar and lies about so many things, big and small. She never physically cheated, but she abuses the hell out of mental cheating.

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I met my husband 10 years ago and at that time had a son, 2, from a previous relationship. We married and went on to have three more children.

My husband is a father to my son. My mother-in-law says things aloud to me and my husband about how blood relatives are different and basically if you’re not blood you don’t matter. If you ask her how many grandkids she has, the number is one less because my son is not counted.

Well, we don’t live like this. My son is also my husband’s son and a member of this family. I am upset because my mother-in-law sends cards for birthdays to the other three kids and not my son. My husband told her that’s not right. She doesn’t care.

My husband’s brother lost his first marriage because of this family. They blame his wife when I know it was them. They are terrible and have never accepted either my son or me. They talk about their other in-laws badly. I can only imagine what they say about me.

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My daughter is to be married in the spring. The challenge is the guest list. We have a family member, my husband’s sister, who has ruined many family functions because of her compelling desire to play emotional games and share untimely verbal abuse.

My daughter and her fiancé’s feelings: This aunt despises the groom and has publicly declared her attitude. In the past she caused distress at two family weddings, and they wish for this wedding not to be the third.

For this reason, the guest list has been harshly altered to close friends instrumental to the couple’s relationship, grandparents and parents of the bride and groom. The guest list is now a grand total of 22.

My husband’s feelings: He loves his older sister; she is blood after all, regardless of her behavior. She lives in the area, therefore she should be invited to the event. She is family and will always be welcome.

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